I HAVE A JOB!!!! Pinch me I'm dreaming!
To be happy in myself and in life is all I really ever wanted. Well I knew a long time ago that my life would one day take a good turn and I am so thrilled to say that something good has FINALLY HAPPENED!!!! And after all the crap I have been through over the last 10 or so years I feel I deserve this, Right now I am so happy and I never thought I would truly be happy again. It has taken a lot for me to get this far. But I am so bloody thrilled to say that I have got my first ever job! Now to you that may not be a big thing but to me it is massive!
So in the last 10 years I have gone through more that I ever imagined I would. I lost weight and put it all back on again. I developed mental health problems including depression,anxiety and later,BPD which although will never go away completely, I am learning to live with. Oh and yes I am fat but if you like me then it really shouldn't bother you what my size is. As I say, it is personality that should count and not looks. I am doing my best to lose the weight but I also want to be able to feel comfortable in myself and not be worried about whether I will receive any nasty comments from people online or in the streets. I passed my course at college, I lost various family members to various illness and because of my mental illness I have not been fit enough to work or strong enough to look for or hold down a job. That is since I moved home in 2014 - until recently.
This is what I am so happy about.
I applied for a job at McDonalds - one of two jobs I applied for last week. I attended the interview last Saturday and I was so convinced I failed as I was so nervous when I was being interviewed,blanked on a question and from then on I felt it went badly. I was given a trial at the window and after that, I had a quick discussion with the guy who interviewed me and was told I would hear back within a week. I felt so down as I really was convinced that I failed. Two days letter I got a phone call to say they wanted to give me a job! I was gobsmacked and they said they thought I did really well and wanted to give me a chance - those are the words I have been waiting to hear for many years - that someone wanted to give me a CHANCE! You have no idea what this actually means to me right now. But there is one person in particular I need to thank and that is my wonderful,funny,daft,caring second-daddy Ian Mackenzie who believed in me when not many others have done and for being proud of me. I just wish my mum and my nan were still here to see what I have achieved.
In other news I have also been self harm free for nearly two months now. So I really do have something to celebrate - the fact I am still here,that I didn't let my illness or bullies beat me and that I have a new job to start and a long and happy life to start enjoying as I want to LIVE. Not just exist!
I still can't believe this has happened. Pinch me - I am dreaming!!!
So in the last 10 years I have gone through more that I ever imagined I would. I lost weight and put it all back on again. I developed mental health problems including depression,anxiety and later,BPD which although will never go away completely, I am learning to live with. Oh and yes I am fat but if you like me then it really shouldn't bother you what my size is. As I say, it is personality that should count and not looks. I am doing my best to lose the weight but I also want to be able to feel comfortable in myself and not be worried about whether I will receive any nasty comments from people online or in the streets. I passed my course at college, I lost various family members to various illness and because of my mental illness I have not been fit enough to work or strong enough to look for or hold down a job. That is since I moved home in 2014 - until recently.
This is what I am so happy about.
I applied for a job at McDonalds - one of two jobs I applied for last week. I attended the interview last Saturday and I was so convinced I failed as I was so nervous when I was being interviewed,blanked on a question and from then on I felt it went badly. I was given a trial at the window and after that, I had a quick discussion with the guy who interviewed me and was told I would hear back within a week. I felt so down as I really was convinced that I failed. Two days letter I got a phone call to say they wanted to give me a job! I was gobsmacked and they said they thought I did really well and wanted to give me a chance - those are the words I have been waiting to hear for many years - that someone wanted to give me a CHANCE! You have no idea what this actually means to me right now. But there is one person in particular I need to thank and that is my wonderful,funny,daft,caring second-daddy Ian Mackenzie who believed in me when not many others have done and for being proud of me. I just wish my mum and my nan were still here to see what I have achieved.
In other news I have also been self harm free for nearly two months now. So I really do have something to celebrate - the fact I am still here,that I didn't let my illness or bullies beat me and that I have a new job to start and a long and happy life to start enjoying as I want to LIVE. Not just exist!
I still can't believe this has happened. Pinch me - I am dreaming!!!
Comments
Post a Comment